The Third Holy Cthulhu War
by TheFelRoseOfTerror
Summary: The Einzberns finally stop trying to mess with the Greater Grail, and try to summon a normal Beserker. They fail. Epically.
1. Beserker

**Nyarlathotep: So, yeah, I've only got into Fate/stay somewhat recently, so if I mess this story up, I apologize.**

 **In the normal Fate/stay series, the Einzberns summoned Angra Mainyu, who's "All The World's Evils". His summoning lead to the whole issue with Fuyuki getting burnt down, and EMIYA being summoned.**

 **Yeah, that guy sucks. I prefer the one summoned for Fate/Apocrypha: Amakusa Shirou Tokisada. He had least had some style.**

 **But I wondered, what if the Einzberns summoned ANOTHER Servant...**

 **What if they summoned...**

 **You know what? I'll let you figure it out.  
**

 **P.S. I found the image for this story on Google. If the creator of this image finds this, and has an issue with me using it, please feel free to PM me.**

* * *

 _Central Hall, Einzbern Castle, Germany_

Insavaiel Einzbern took a deep breath, and looked behind her, at Jubstacheit von Einzbern.

He nodded at her to continue.

Insavaiel turned toward the summoning circle and took a deep breath.

At the center of the circle was a strange book, emblazoned with even stranger markings, with strange inscriptions within. The book had been found by Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern herself.

She began to chant the summoning ritual she had prepared.

"Let silver and steel be the essence."

The circle began to shine

"Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation.

Let black be the color I pay tribute to."

The circle to shine brighter.

It's color mysteriously turned purple.

Unphased, Insavaiel continued, despite a mysterious feeling.

"Let fall the walls against the shadow that will rise."

 _That... Wasn't right._

The Einzbern family head frowned.

"Let 'Umr At-Tawil's gates close."

 _What is "'Umr At-Tawil"?_

The circle's lights began to darken.

Old Man Einzbern's frown grew more pronounced.

"Let the tri-lobed burning eye's crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate."

 _This is not good..._

"Let it be declared now; your power will be strengthened, and your fate will be changed at will."

 _Um..._

"Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail."

 _That was right._

"Answer, if you would submit to this will and this truth."

 _That was right._

"An oath shall be sworn here."

 _That was right._

"I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven;"

 _That was right._

"I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell."

 _That was rig-I almost forgot I was summoning Beserker..._

"Yet you shall serve with your eyes clouded by chaos.

For you would be one caged in madness.

I shall wield your chains!"

The circle's light's turned to sludge.

"From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three great words of power, come forth from the ring of restraint, protector of the holy balance!"

The summoning circle gleamed an ominous red, and let out a blast of magical energy, forcing her eyes closed, shielding herself with her arms.

The force of the blast nearly blew Insavaiel away. Nearly.

Insavaiel let down her arms, and opened her eyes. Which widened in shock.

Standing in the center of the circle, looking through the book, was a man, about 19 years of age.

He wore black pants, socks, and shiny dress shoes. He also wore a red dress shirt, the top two buttons unbuttoned, under a black sleeveless vest.

A black tie was knotted with a strange symbol, three white upside down triangles.

His skin was pale. Or, at least, the skin on her chest. His hands were black, and covered in strange white veins.

His hair was white... A massive updo, combined with with a bob cut.

His face was... Attractive enough. But his eyes... His sclera were black, with gray irises, and white pupils. And there were three of them. Two in the normal position, and a third in the middle of his forehead surrounded by markings.

He grinned.

All of a sudden, strange noises came from nowhere

Beserker struck a strange pose.

"Broadway is black like a sinkhole" he began to... Sing?

"Everyone raced to the suburbs  
And I'm on the rooftop with curious strangers  
This is the oddest of summers

Maybe I'll medicate, maybe inebriate  
Strange situations, I get anxious  
Maybe I'll smile a bit, maybe the opposite  
But pray that they don't call me thankless

My tell-tale heart's a hammer in my chest  
Cut me a silk tie tourniquet

This is my roaring, roaring 20s, I don't  
Even know me, roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna go home  
Roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna go home  
My roaring, roaring 20s, I don't  
Even know me, roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna go home  
Roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna, I wanna go home

Oscars and Emmy's and Grammy's  
Everyone here is a trophy  
And I'm sipping bourbon, the future's uncertain  
The past on the pavement below me

Maybe I'll elevate, maybe I'm second rate  
So unaware of my status  
Maybe I'm overjoyed, maybe I'm paranoid  
Designed me up in straight jackets

My tell-tale heart's a hammer in my chest  
Cut me a silk tie tourniquet

This is my roaring, roaring 20s, I don't  
Even know me, roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna go home  
Roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna go home  
My roaring, roaring 20s, I don't  
Even know me, roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna go home  
Roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna, I wanna go home

Hallucinations only mean  
That your brain is on fire  
But it's Lord of the Flies in my mind tonight  
I don't know if I will survive  
Lighters up if you're feelin' me  
Fade to black if you're not mine  
Cause I just need a sign or a signal inside

This is my roaring, roaring 20s, I don't  
Even know me, roll me a blunt, cause I wanna go home  
Roll me a, roll me a blunt

This is my roaring, roaring 20s, I don't  
Even know me, roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna go home  
Roll me like a blunt, cause I wanna, I wanna go home

I wanna go home!"

Isavaiel stared at her dancing servant.

"What the hell?"

* * *

 **Nyarlathotep: Sorry that the chapter's short.**

 **Roaring 20's is owned by Panic! At The Disco.  
**

 **And Fate/stay Night is owned by Type-Moon.**


	2. THIS IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER

As the title suggests, I'm sorry I haven't been publishing any new chapters to my stories; I'm having... anger issues.

And that's not including the war I'm in the middle of.

So, according to everything, Vic Micnoga, (that's not how it's spelled), the voice of Qrow, Edward Elric, and a few others, has been removed from working with both Funimation, and Rooster Teeth, because of sexual allegations set against him.

Now, I'm not here to make judgements. I'm right now stating the facts.

Like the fact they are doing this despite the fact that DISNEY is having Will Smith as the new Genie.

I'm pissed.

I mean, have you heard Will Smith's music? IT'S WORSE THAN ANYTHING THAT VIC, JAMES GUNN, (former director of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies), OR ANYONE ELSE HAS DONE!

You humans are in such a culture of fear right now.

It'll only make it easier when I blow you up.

I'll admit, again, I'm not entirely certain about what happened with Vic, but from what I know, it's quite similar to what happened with James Gunn.

I have read about both of them, and the issues, and most of that is totally just outright fearmongering.

Especially with Gunn. Seriously, the context of those tweets are HILARIOUS.

Totally false, but hilarious.

...Anyway. I'm not certain whether or not I'll be continuing my RWBY stories, due to RT's meddling, and if any of you want to adopt them, message me, and I'll consider it.

Projects I'm Not Sure About:

Jaune Arc, the Crawling Chaos

A World Brought To Bear

A Demon And Zombie Come To Remnant

The Silver-Eyed Carrion

I Don't Feel Well

The Angel Of Remnant

Old Fears Reborn

Fears Remade

Azeroth Of Remnant

The Legion Reborn

Again, if any of you want to adopt these stories, PM me, and I'll consider you.

I'm just pissed.

I may take my words back later, but I'm just...

It's overreaction.

You people are so obssessed with everything going your way, everything happening just the way you want them.

I mean, several years ago, I went to see Jaws with a friend of mine.

Back then, I was pretending to be a 30-ish adult with a job working on a manufacturing line.

I was not impressed with that movie at all, (At The Mountains Of Madness is a better movie. Or, rather, it WILL be.), so I went outside.

Some idiot woman, (I didn't know them), had brought their baby, (again, she was an idiot), and had gone out because the baby wasn't happy.

I offered to take care of her baby, and she accepted, and she went back in.

Again, you can't do that these days. Do that now, and you'll probably be arrested.

(I didn't walk off with the baby. Again, I had a friend waiting for me, and she had the car keys. And when I pretend to be human, it's all the way. No magic, no cults, nothing.)

I'm going to ask you people to not fill up my review box with hateful comments, but this IS the internet.

I'm merely stating facts. If you don't like them, take it up with God. He's far more willing to listen to lies and hatemongering than I am.


End file.
